Monday, June 13, 2011

How to Act and Look Like a Man When You Lose

I've decided to take today's blog in a bit of a different direction today, hopefully you enjoy reading this blog as much as I have enjoyed writing it.

We as men can be the best dressed dude in the room, have perfectly shined shoes, a neat shave and a great haircut, but it doesn't mean anything unless you're prepared to act like a man.  I was watching the Heat collapse to the Dallas Mavericks last night in the NBA Finals and was blown away when LeBron James, an idol and role model to many of today's young men, walked off the court without so much as a handshake with his opponents.  He then proceeded to carry on a hostile press conference after the game addressing his "haters" and how they are going to have to "get back to the real world" at some point.

I'll give Mr. James this, yes 90% of us got up this morning and went back to the office.  He probably got on a private jet to a vacation.  But at least those of us who are headed back to the real world are (hopefully) doing it with pride and respect, for ourselves and for those around us.  I don't think the same can be said for LBJ.  With that said, maybe LeBron will catch a glimpse of this blog and take a note for the next time he loses a game, series or championship.

Nathaniel S. Butler/NBAE/Getty Images

Don't Make Excuses

Want to look like a child as quickly as possible? Make a list of excuses for why you lost before you even show up. Everyone will inevitably lose at something in life; whether it is not getting a promotion, getting dumped by your dream girl, crashing your car, whatever.  We will all lose eventually.  Making excuses doesn't make it look like something wasn't your fault or that you're a victim.  It makes you look like you don't take responsibility for yourself or your actions.  It also makes you look weak, because you can't stay in control.  It's easy to do too, we all want to insulate ourselves from criticism.  I've done it before and I'm sure you have too.  So next time you lose, try this: don't make one excuse.  Not one.  Own it.  When you have some time to yourself, think about the situation and try to decide what was in your control and what wasn't.  Could you have handled yourself differently?  Could you have made something in your control that wasn't?  And if something was out of your control, stop trying to make an excuse about it.  Everyone has things in their life that are out of their control, and the more you try to control them the more they will control you.  So next time you lose, man up and shut up.

Don't Attack Your Opposition

Want to look incredibly petty with efficiency? Start attacking your opposition, especially personally, and you're right on track.  You know that guy who starts up on how "bullshit" or "cheap" the other team was when he loses a pickup basketball game?  You don't want to be him.  Why?  Because when he loses, he looks like an ass.  When he wins, he's an even bigger ass.  Because even if he shakes the other team's hands after he wins, it's not genuine.   If he just walks off the court, everyone else is glad he's gone.  I'm not saying you need to be ecstatic if you lose, but you should lose with class.  However, if you are humble and respectful when you lose, eventually you will win.  And people will want to celebrate that win with you.

Great sportsmanship, and Federer is a sharp dresser.  Nadal, not so much.

Don't Keep Losing

Want to look unbelievably pathetic? Make the same mistake over and over and over.  This is especially critical in your professional life, nothing will agitate a manager more than seeing you make the same mistakes every day, week or month.  You'll never see a raise, promotion or even congratulations from your boss because it shows that you have no idea how to improve.  So, if you are constantly seeing the same results or outcome from something you do, it's time to sit down and find out why. And keep in mind the first two points here when you do think about that.  Don't worry about the things that were out of your control.  Worry about what you can control and what you can do differently or better.  Write them down.  Put it on your bathroom mirror so you see those things every day.  Seriously, writing it down is a mental commitment.  It helps your recall incredibly and you can focus through the day on those things more effectively.  I'm not going to make guarantees here, I'm not trying to sell you self help or anything, but I've seen personal improvement from this method on countless occasions and I eventually stopped losing in those situations.  I hope you'll stop losing too.

This article deviates from my normal topics, but I think that acting like a man is just as important as the way we dress.  Plus, even if you're not a father, you have young people looking up to you.  They will emulate the way you act, speak and dress.  We should show them the best.  If you'd like more articles like this, please let me know, but I promise I'll be back to talking style for at least the rest of the week!

Thanks for reading.  As always, be dapper.


  1. I know you didn't intend it so. However you almost make it seem like Nadal has poor sportsmanship we both know this is not the case. He just lacks the style that Rodger has

  2. Definitely true, Nadal has great sportsmanship. I certainly did not intend it to read that way!

  3. Very well said my dear friend. I am LOVING this blog. You are a wise man and always worth my time - Jason

  4. Thanks Jason, glad you're enjoying!

  5. Thanks a lot man :D. I always lose the "do not attack your opposition and making excuses" parts too after losing a game! you don't wanna know what happens if i lose , i blow it up.
    Your advices are great but sir , my opponent is a total jerk he keeps mentioning the lose and uuuh, drives me crazy. have you got any personal advice for me? With best regards

  6. Don't complain, don't explain

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