How to Act and Look Like a Man When You Lose

I've decided to take today's blog in a bit of a different direction today, hopefully you enjoy reading this blog as much as I have enjoyed writing it.

We as men can be the best dressed dude in the room, have perfectly shined shoes, a neat shave and a great haircut, but it doesn't mean anything unless you're prepared to act like a man.  I was watching the Heat collapse to the Dallas Mavericks last night in the NBA Finals and was blown away when LeBron James, an idol and role model to many of today's young men, walked off the court without so much as a handshake with his opponents.  He then proceeded to carry on a hostile press conference after the game addressing his "haters" and how they are going to have to "get back to the real world" at some point.

I'll give Mr. James this, yes 90% of us got up this morning and went back to the office.  He probably got on a private jet to a vacation.  But at least those of us who are headed back to the real world are (hopefully) doing it with pride and respect, for ourselves and for those around us.  I don't think the same can be said for LBJ.  With that said, maybe LeBron will catch a glimpse of this blog and take a note for the next time he loses a game, series or championship.

Nathaniel S. Butler/NBAE/Getty Images

Don't Make Excuses

Want to look like a child as quickly as possible? Make a list of excuses for why you lost before you even show up. Everyone will inevitably lose at something in life; whether it is not getting a promotion, getting dumped by your dream girl, crashing your car, whatever.  We will all lose eventually.  Making excuses doesn't make it look like something wasn't your fault or that you're a victim.  It makes you look like you don't take responsibility for yourself or your actions.  It also makes you look weak, because you can't stay in control.  It's easy to do too, we all want to insulate ourselves from criticism.  I've done it before and I'm sure you have too.  So next time you lose, try this: don't make one excuse.  Not one.  Own it.  When you have some time to yourself, think about the situation and try to decide what was in your control and what wasn't.  Could you have handled yourself differently?  Could you have made something in your control that wasn't?  And if something was out of your control, stop trying to make an excuse about it.  Everyone has things in their life that are out of their control, and the more you try to control them the more they will control you.  So next time you lose, man up and shut up.

Don't Attack Your Opposition

Want to look incredibly petty with efficiency? Start attacking your opposition, especially personally, and you're right on track.  You know that guy who starts up on how "bullshit" or "cheap" the other team was when he loses a pickup basketball game?  You don't want to be him.  Why?  Because when he loses, he looks like an ass.  When he wins, he's an even bigger ass.  Because even if he shakes the other team's hands after he wins, it's not genuine.   If he just walks off the court, everyone else is glad he's gone.  I'm not saying you need to be ecstatic if you lose, but you should lose with class.  However, if you are humble and respectful when you lose, eventually you will win.  And people will want to celebrate that win with you.

Great sportsmanship, and Federer is a sharp dresser.  Nadal, not so much.

Don't Keep Losing

Want to look unbelievably pathetic? Make the same mistake over and over and over.  This is especially critical in your professional life, nothing will agitate a manager more than seeing you make the same mistakes every day, week or month.  You'll never see a raise, promotion or even congratulations from your boss because it shows that you have no idea how to improve.  So, if you are constantly seeing the same results or outcome from something you do, it's time to sit down and find out why. And keep in mind the first two points here when you do think about that.  Don't worry about the things that were out of your control.  Worry about what you can control and what you can do differently or better.  Write them down.  Put it on your bathroom mirror so you see those things every day.  Seriously, writing it down is a mental commitment.  It helps your recall incredibly and you can focus through the day on those things more effectively.  I'm not going to make guarantees here, I'm not trying to sell you self help or anything, but I've seen personal improvement from this method on countless occasions and I eventually stopped losing in those situations.  I hope you'll stop losing too.

This article deviates from my normal topics, but I think that acting like a man is just as important as the way we dress.  Plus, even if you're not a father, you have young people looking up to you.  They will emulate the way you act, speak and dress.  We should show them the best.  If you'd like more articles like this, please let me know, but I promise I'll be back to talking style for at least the rest of the week!

Thanks for reading.  As always, be dapper.

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Put a Lid On It: How to Find A Great Hat

If you're looking for an addition to your wardrobe that will define your style, look no further than a great looking hat. Seriously, this one piece of your fashion arsenal will be the thing people most remember about you. What do you see when you think of Vince Lombardi, Frank Sinatra or even Robert Duvall in the Godfather? That's right, they're wearing a hat. And you know I'm not talking about a baseball cap or a knit beanie, I'm talking about a classic fedora, porkpie or maybe a walking cap. So let's dive into some hat styles that are perfect for a classic style.

The Fedora

I didn't live in the 1920's but I think these were standard issue back then because everyone from the mob to the feds were wearing fedoras. The fedora faded in style into the 1970's but has recently made a comeback and can be worn in a variety of different ways. If you're looking for a hat to wear with a suit, definitely go with something made of felt and in a dark color. Also make sure it is a blocked hat, meaning that the hat is built around a wood block. These type of hats last forever if well taken care of and have a better structure to them, just like the dark fedora below from J.J. Hat Center. A fedora can also be a great casual look, check out this version below from Christy's. Lighter color, lighter material, a thinner brim and a contrasting woven band make this fedora perfect for the weekend.

Lexington Fedora

Christy's Crown Fedora - The Bentley

The Pork Pie

The pork pie hat is different from the fedora due to the flat top and short crown with an indentation all the way around rather than pinched. I recommend this hat for men with rounder faces (not chubby, round) because the short brim will complement your features well. The crown is not too high either and helps to balance how big your head might look with a taller hat. The pork pie can be professional, though not as much as a fedora, but still get one in felt, dark color and blocked. I prefer it for a casual look however, once again in a lighter color and preferably braided. Both hat's below are from Bailey of Hollywood, I love the feather in the black one especially.

Bailey of Hollywood Pork Pie Hat

Bailey of Hollywood Lamar Pork Pie

The Walking Hat

An undoubtedly casual look, the walking hat is one hat I can't recommend to pair with your suit. That's not to say you can't look incredibly stylish in one, quite the opposite. Get one in tweed, just do it. It will work great in all kinds of occasions and is not so stuffy that you will feel like you're trying too hard. The three variations below from Borsalino are all dapper choices.

Borsalino Tweed Walking Hat

You might be thinking "I can't pull off a hat like this." Not true, you can. I recommend going to a hat shop if at all possible and get some consulting from an expert. They will understand what shapes and styles will best complement your facial features. Once you're in one and feeling confident, you'll never wear a baseball cap again. To finish off the article, let's take a look at just how good a man with a great cap can look from the current king of classic style, Jon Hamm.

Thanks for reading.  As always, be dapper.

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Belts Are a Choice, Not a Necessity. But You Should Choose to Wear One.

Let me lead this post off by saying that if you are wearing a belt so your pants don't fall down, you need new pants.  Belts should be an accessory you choose to complement the rest of your ensemble, not something you wear to avoid mooning the whole office.  That said, once you have some pants that fit correctly you can use your belt to add some splash to your wardrobe or to just keep your look together.

The Leather Belt

I really should not have to tell you that the leather belt is one thing that you have to have at least one of. If not two. Probably two.  Yah, you need two. Black and brown should be represented, as it's important to match your belt to your shoes when they are both leather. Some people like a white leather belt as well, I'm not one of them. I prefer to have two different widths of each as well. A belt that is appropriate with trousers and suits should be about 1 - 1 1/2 inches wide, no more. Something closer to 2 inches is more appropriate for jeans.  With your business attire, keep the buckle simple like the belts featured below from Boss and Express.

BOSS Black '9005' Leather Belt

Express 2-in-1 Reversible Leather Belt

The Webbed Belt

A killer look with jeans and shorts, the webbed belt is a stylish choice not only because it looks great but also because you can find them dirt cheap. I prefer the double ring closure to the full buckle but either can be a good look. There are so many variations of the nylon webbed belt out there that I recommend having 3 or 4 in your wardrobe, just to match and contrast with a variety of outfits. Below are two different but very classy webbed belts from Urban Outfitters and Tommy Hilfiger.

Urban Outfitters Reversible D-Ring Belt

Tommy Hilfiger Webbed Belt

The Braided Belt

Out of popularity for many years, mostly due to the fact that people wore them at functions where a more formal belt was necessary, the braided belt is something you most likely think of your grandpa wearing. However they can be a fashionable casual accessory when worn correctly. First of all, keep it thin (this is still a leather belt) and make sure that it is the right waist size. It's easy to not think about waist size with a braided belt because there are no holes for the buckle, but you should not have more than 2 inches of belt sticking out from your first belt loop once the belt is on and fitting right. I love these two belts from Land's End and Polo Ralph Lauren.

Land's End Men's Braided Belt

Polo Ralph Lauren Braided Leather O-Ring Belt

Getting the right belt for the occasion and making sure the style is appropriate is key to getting your look right. Feel free to experiment with more casual styles but when you are trying to keep a look classic and professional, keep your belt matching your shoes.

Thanks for reading.  As always, be dapper.

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Sunglasses for the Fashionable Man

There has been a huge resurgence in men's sunglasses in the past few years, reviving classic styles that had been set aside by many in favor of a line of sunglasses that were all mostly based on Oakley shapes and style.  That's not to say that many of these styles aren't high quality (though there are thousands of fakes out there) or that there aren't good uses for them, but a pair of sunglasses that were originally designed for motocross or BMX riders simply aren't something you're going to want to top off your classic style with.  Let's take a look at a few fashionable sunglasses that are great for the office or the weekend.

The Wayfarer

Though many will make an argument for the Aviator, I believe the Wayfarer is the quintessential classic frame. Originally designed in 1952 by optical designer Raymond Stegeman for Ray-Ban, the Wayfarer has come in and out of style but has always been embraced by those who avoid the trends and embrace timeless fashion. The great news is that today they are very much in fashion and there are a huge variety of colors, frame sizes and variations so you should have no problem finding the perfect pair for you.  I recommend a classic black for your frames, you'll keep them casual enough for the beach but professional enough to wear on the way to the office.

Ray-Ban Wayfarers

The Clubmaster

A variation on the Wayfarer, the Clubmaster has a trimmed down frame and more accents which make more of a statement than the Wayfarer. I recommend getting the Clubmaster in a tortoise shell frame, the pattern can be overwhelming with some other frames but with the additions of the metal accents it is very subtle and has an understated class to it.

Ray-Ban Clubmasters

The Aviator

Worn by many, worn well by few, the Aviator has so many variations on the original design that many people don't understand how great these sunglasses can look on anyone.  Make sure that you find a pair that frames your face well, they should not stick out too far from the sides and should not push down on your cheeks (you don't want to look like the Unabomber.)  Try several pairs on and see how they look, this is one frame that is truly easy to mess up but it looks amazing when it's done right.

Ray-Ban Aviators

If you're still wondering whether you should switch off the wraparound style glasses, just check out these pictures here at GQ.  I think it's easy to see how much better you're going to look in a pair of classic sunglasses.  I know I listed Ray-Ban as the only manufacturer here, but that is simply because everyone else is simply replicating these styles.  Feel free to try any brand you like, but understand that Ray-Ban is the originator.

Thanks for reading.  As always, be dapper.

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